BNP Latest

Crivvens, Jings and Help Ma Boab! We seem to have been criminally overlooking the current plight of the BNP of late. We hope they’re alright. No. They’re not. So what’s going on then?

We trawl the sewers so you don’t have to!

Well, yesterday the BNP ‘reformers’ Mark II had a wee meeting in Leicester featuring several old faces with leaky bladders and bad Nazi track records. They were all trying to work out a way of getting rid of Nick ‘the petty cash’ Griffin and came up with not very much at all. The ideas on offer were to either form a new party, form a parallel organisation or carry on and hope the Grifter just gives up and leaves. All of which offered scant hope to the ageing racists who bothered to turn up. The meeting was addressed by Richard Edmonds, the lanky streak of piss and vinegar frequently floored by Anti Fascist Action back in the day. He is a holocaust denying unrepentant Nazi who smells a bit of wee. Think Norman Tebbit but even more senile. Also being helped up on to the podium was old Andrew ‘Prostate’ Brons, the erstwhile MEP, who warned against forming yet another grupuscule and instead forming a BNP ‘parallel organisation’ which could stand by and catch the rapidly exiting number of Griffinites. Why anyone would jump from one old knackered carthorse onto a slightly newer knackered carthorse is anyone’s guess. The BNP ‘brand,’ such as it is, is tainted. Bronsy said that any new party needed 1,500 members to be feasible and given the disillusionment amongst the far right this is unlikely to happen. Also there is a large bowl of alphabetti spaghetti far right parties fighting over the few scraps that remain.

Former wife-swapping NF stalwart Martin Wingfield was allowed out for the day and he declared he would be staying in the BNP ‘for the time being’ in order to monitor events but really it is because he will be able to keep the cash he is filching from the EU as Brons’ Day Carer. Wingnut and Bronsy are considering a move to the English Democrats, another pointless splinter faction dedicated to splitting the far right vote and losing their deposits, but they are going to cling on to the pig trough whilst the going gets progressively worse. The meeting was turned over to the floor but few ideas were forthcoming. Some suggested names for a new party whilst others suggested the immediate invasion of Poland and ran home to fetch their wellies and helmets in readiness. The queue for the toilets was where it was at and we overheard the general hum of despondency amidst the usual moaning and infighting that such meetings engender.

Meanwhile, the ‘Real BNP’ stumble from crisis to crisis. First Griffclops had his motor taken, then the accounts were put under scrutiny by plod, the Panorama programme disappointed many antifascists but hardly did the Grifter any favours and this week yet another former BNP candidate was done for child porn. Gavin Leist is now ex-communicated by the BNP so is joining up with Richard Price and Michael Coates to form the EDL Nonce  Division.

What is clear is that the far right is very fragmented and any significant hope of electoral success was lost with the decline of the BNP’s fortunes. Here is a guide to some of the grupuscules who will not be canvassing in your area in the bright and foreseeable future!

National Front

Some disaffected BNPers have been looking to the NF for salvation but as it is full of perverts, drunkards and reprobates of every stripe they have not really gained from Griffin’s blunders. The NF had been taken over by veteran splitter Eddy Morrison, vender of dodgy Nazi memorabilia and all round nice guy, but he and his clique have gone now and the Front are wandering about in the political wilderness much scorned by the charmers on the BNP forums. The NF have a nostalgic attraction much like the Anderson Air Raid Shelter from the war. You’re curious to know what it is but you wouldn’t want to stay in it for long because it is full of old things that smell funny.

British Fluffies & Others More Obscure

The fluffy fascist British Freedom split away from the BNP a couple of years ago and, like all of the others, has graduated from a brief burst of optimism to a rapid sidelining and no relevance. Our mate Batty Lee Barnes (BA hons.) is involved as ‘legal expert’ which bodes ill as he was the BNPs legal brain and look where that got them. Also involved is Simon Bennett who was the BNP ‘webmaster’ and famously pulled the plug on the BNP website just before the last general election and incurred the wrath of hairy arsed fascists everywhere. Our mate Tony ‘Hammerhead’ Ward is on board too. Cross dressing ‘Hammerhead’ married a Chinese women to prevent her, he said, from ‘race mixing.’ Peter Stafford was hounded out of the ever tolerant BNP and was referred to by the charmers of the Nazi VNN forum as ‘Liverpool’s Resident Homosexual.’ Nice. If Facebook popularity is an accurate gauge of possible electoral success then the Fluffies should poll about 1,400 votes worldwide (but seeing as at least twenty ‘friends’ are ‘Malatesta’ this may fall short).

British Freedom are nice and not racist honest and should not be confused with the not very fluffy at all British Freedom Fighters. The BFF are tough but, sadly, practically moribund as  their members are usually in jail. UKIP are too tweedy and toff like to appeal to most folk but there are a host of other similar grupuscules feeding off their publicity teats. The English Democrats are former UKIP and frustrated Tories and actually have a member who is Mayor of Doncaster: they are still pushing the ‘too many foreigns’ line though and are ideologically feeble. The English People’s Party are even more obscure and should not be confused with the massive British People’s Party who are a bunch of no-mark Tyndallites clearly on the road to oblivion via a gluebag and a bottle of Lidl’s finest cider. Their spiritual leader is the British Movement’s Colin Jordan who was arrested for stealing lingerie. Enough said really.

So that’s that, chumleys! The BNP factions are like two goths fighting over the hair gel, the Fluffies are nowhere and the array of tiny grupuscules will poll scant votes between them and no doubt all target the same wards and split the far right vote even further. Between them they are unlikely to pose a threat like other far right  parties in Europe but this is no reason for apathy on behalf of  antifascists. Be seeing you!

STOP PRESS: yet another nazi pedophile: http://lancasteruaf.blogspot.com/2011/10/walker-nazi-worshipper-exposed-as.html

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