This Is The End …

EDL Weight Watchers Division on Manoeuvres!

Crivvens! Jings! And Help Ma Boab! At the risk of offending incompetent bugles and clooties everywhere, the incompetent bugles and clooties at the EDL have broken the idiot barrier yet again in their run-up to the ill-fated ‘Walthamstow Revenge’ march. In case you have been dead recently, Mr Tommy Robinson was apprehended by plod this weekend for the completely innocent crime of taking a vanload of masked up EDL members for a ‘photo-shoot’ or to ‘unroll a banner and video it’ somewhere – depending on sources and whether they were in the pub or not. The EDL have expressed surprise that plod intercepted a van full of pissed blokes in hoodies and balaclavas, or what could be described as ‘paramilitary uniform,’ and arrested them all and they have been complaining ever since! Of course, if it had been a lorry load of ‘UAF’ or ‘muslamics’ then the EDL would be praising plod for their extra-vigilance but the hopelessly hapless EDL were all taken to Plod Central, stripped to their underpants for forensic examination and held for several hours without beer, fags or jazz mags! What a bleedin’ liberty or lack thereof! Several of the EDL were later seen walking out of the station in fancy paper suits clutching their little bags of property. How embarrassing. Of course, Mr Tommy luckily avoided this walk of shame and is now wearing prison stripes and eating halal porridge in Wormwood Scrubs.

EDL: Free At Last!

Mr Tommy was held over the van incident when it was realised that he had failed to surrender his passport during the Euro football yawn (which was why he was in court the other week) but had somehow managed to enter the USA for some daft meeting of various Islamophobes and racists. Mr Tommy had tried to get into the States previously but had been embarrassingly turned away. Of course, he is far too vain to not gloat about gadding round the world whilst the rest of the EDL’s ‘chav scrotes’ sign on: photos and footage, Twitters and Facebook statements made sure everyone knew where he was. Including Yank plod! So, he has been charged with possession of false identity documents (from what we can tell so far!) and because he was already serving a suspended sentence and there is clearly a risk of him skedaddling he has been remanded until January which obviously means he will be enjoying his Christmas Turkey Twizzlers on the nonce wing where he is kept for his own security. The EDL have been long claimed that ‘Muslamic extremists’ wander our streets with impunity but now apparently they are all in prison threatening Mr Tommy. The EDL took at least 24 hours to get their story straight then immediately inflated the victim balloons claiming Mr Tommy is being held as a ‘political prisoner’ rather than for passport violations and contravening the conditions of his suspended sentence – all of which have nothing to do with the EDL. They have also been soliciting cash for legal support which has infuriated a great many EDL as they, rightly, claim that when they’re nicked the EDL does nothing, but when it’s Mr Tommy turn, it’s campaign and begging bowl time! Which is a wee bit unfair. This has caused yet another split off in the EDL with Essex division complaining about ‘Three fucking years of back stabbing accusations from wrong wrong urns’ – whatever that means.

EDL member wearing special ‘Walthamstows’ that enable bowel evacuations with minimum damage whilst on demos.

Now Karaoke Kev Karol is the only 1 in charge and if he is as good at organising as he is at public speaking then the EDL better give up immediately. He released a long winded statement which took us 3 attempts to get through but the gist of it is this: ‘false patriots trying to dictate the direction or ethos of the EDL … they are vermin … they call for new leadership… we know who they are you bunch of parasitical vultures … we become martyrs to our cause … If your not up to the job crawl back under the rock from whence you came.’ Which is all a bit 1933.

To be fair the EDL don’t do themselves any favours and even supporters on various far-right forums and Facebook pages admit that the van stunt was very stupid as the photos and reports went viral and the EDL came off looking very dumb indeed. The EDL have a massive problem with positive PR as they have alienated many supporters and any journalists who may have given them a fair hearing and they continue to hold demos where they are all clearly drunk, clutching beer cans and shouting ‘Allah is a pedo!’ which means that no-one can take them seriously even if they wanted to. A survey recently found that the majority of people had no idea who the EDL are and those that did know thought they were a bunch of bugles and hooligans. They have no strategy or endgame and can only say that they want to ‘ban muslamics’ or something. They lack a coherent political programme and excel in organisational incompetence and falling out with each other. On Saturday at Walthamstow they will no doubt refer to the 1,000s of people opposing them as ‘UAF’ which shows how naïve the EDL are. The majority of people on the streets will be local folk who do not like the EDL causing trouble in their neighbourhood.

There are calls for EDL leadership elections and several key members are standing at the periphery wondering whether  to make a move now that Mr Tommy is out of the picture. So it’s not looking great for the EDL in the run-up to their much publicised ‘Walthamstow 2’ demonstration. Their leadership are seriously diminished and are not going to be there, the others who were nicked are banned, the last 2 demos have been pisspoor with a couple of hundred EDL at most, despite calls for unity the far right are hopelessly fragmented and bitter, plod have banned their march and 1,000s of anti-fascists are heading that way to greet them! Oh dear! This is the EDL’s last hurrah and if they don’t make a decent show of it, then it is over. A national demo attended by 200 people and opposed by 10 times that, is an embarrassment. See you on Saturday!


About malatesta32

Malatesta aka M. Testa, undercover anti-fascist blogger, has analyzed the changing fortunes of the British far right for nearly a decade. He has given lectures on anti-fascism, published articles in Anarchist Studies and Freedom magazine and wrote Militant Anti-Fascism: 100 Years Of Resistance (AK Press 2015) which the Morning Star called a '‘Potent Primer On Europe’s Anti-Fascist Struggle … a useful source of information about the fight against fascism.’
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