Paulo Prodromou attacks unarmed woman with a stick, but hits idiot son, Jizmo, in face instead, thus saving us the bother!
Paulo Prodromou is what Alf Garnett would have been if he was an even bigger fuckspangle. Not many on the far right like Paully Pops because they’ve been arrested, charged and gone to prison for going on one of his cop-managed demos (although oddly, he hasn’t been nicked!) Anti-fascists call him ‘A&E’ after a rather muscular discussion in Southend went badly for him. Life’s A Ditch eh, Paully Poos? He has taken time out from his ice cream van round to make a video which we have transcribed below so you don’t have to listen to it and end up with your head in the toilet.
Paul Pitt: ‘He does it to fellers!’
– Ere (sniff), is this fackin on? The fackin facker. Oh, I gotta fackin switch it on. Right, you fackin fackers… Ere, fack me! Do I fackin look like that? Fackin fack! Anyways, I’m not having a fackin go at anyone but you fackin fackers are all fackin kantz! When I was in the fackin Kray Twins, I was the 3rd twin, and we all fackin looked arfter each other, fackin right? (Fackin right, you fackin fackers!) (Sniff). I’m not havin’ a go but all of you are fackin liars an’ shit kantz! I’m not a Wallaby gangster, I’m the meal deal! I don’t talk bollox! When I’m out on me fackin ice-cream round, I tell it like it is! They say
– Can I have a 99?
And I say It ain’t a fackin 99, its a fackin 1933 when our lord Jesus Hitler won Vietnam in Bosnia, you fackin fackers! Don’t ask me for a fackin race mixin’ choc-ice either it’s Mini-Milks or DEATH you tiny fackin kantz! Then this cheeky fackin tiny probably homosexual 3 year old says ‘I love juice’ and I says ‘Jews? Don’t fackin talk to me abaht fackin Jews you fackin little kant … oh wait, JOOSE. sorry, we sell propa joose – Irn Bru, Tizer, Vimto… What can I do you for? And no, we don’t sell none of them fackin Mediterranean abominationals neither! Cornettos and Viennetta? Fack me, we’ll be joining the common market next. Fackin Fackaz!’ Fack the fackin lotta ya, ya fackin kantz…’
… and on and on until his head explodes with all that untapped sexual charisma and racist bitterness.