Crivvens! Jings! And Help Ma Boab! Whit a game it was last night! It had everything! Drama! Disappointment! Drink! Drugs! Yass indeed, the Auchenshoogle 3rd cricket team drew against Basher McKenzies team with 13 runs each. Apart from several flying headers by Basher, the opponents avoided the usual bloodshed after smoking Posh Spice and were too fucked up to play. It was an embarrassing disaster in search of a hero.
And although sport often leaves us ‘Holding Out For A Hero,’ as Bonnie Langford sang, we won’t find many in this very poor segue to the National Action trial. The accused are charged with being members of the banned neo-Nazi groupuscule and are either denying everything, grassing each other up, or are stiff as a board having topped themselves.
A Traditional Liverpool Welcome For Fascists!
But who were National Action? They enthusiastically appeared in 2013, clearly lacking experience, temperance and caution, wanting to be seen as a young fascist fighting force but their online idiocy and teeny terrorist adventurism attracted attention of the wrong sort. Plod, Hope Not Hate and militant anti-fascists were building up profiles of their members from the start. Which wasn’t hard as they photographed and published their (unmasked) boy scout seig heilings and banners of Hitler.
National Action Men
NA’s ineptitude was exposed early on when they tried to ‘infiltrate’ an anti-fascist counter-demonstration at a daft White Pride do in Wales where militants easily identified members by name before they were hoovered up by plod. Several hours later, anti-fascists caught NA members leaving the cop shop, bereft of any hubris, and relieved them of their regimental bag of Cheesy Wotsits and pop to flee weeping into the night.
Kicked In The Dick!
NA were unimpressive on the cobbles: there was never any serious confrontation with militant anti-fascists and they were too few to mobilise in numbers as their utter humiliation in Liverpool (twice) demonstrated.
National Action: Not Out Of The Closet!
Although a few fascist scrotum clenchers joined up with them, older heads were more cynical calling NA a state set-up and criticising their high profile idiotics and they were ultimately banned by the state in December, 2016. The prosecution are alleging that the accused remained active members of NA despite being a proscribed terrorist organisation. The stupid vanity of NA themselves can hardly have helped them: if you want to start a covert fascist groupuscule, don’t put images of yourselves all over Facebook and Youtube.
Anyway, here’s a few former NA supporters now in prison:
Ryan Fleming: serving a 2nd jail term for sex offences
Zack Davies: imprisoned for attempted murder
Lawrence Burns who was jailed for 4 years in 2017 is now a Muslim convert; Wayne Bell was kicked out of NA for ‘perpetual covert felching’ and ‘gargling’; and Paul Hickman was on bail for race hate offences but topped himself rather than stand up for his beliefs in 2017. Much more than this to come.
And finally I’d like to thank Auchenshoogle’s finest tattooist, ‘Blind’ Danny, for my new ink! It’s Braw! Form a line kids, you’re gonna want 1!
Be Seeing You!