Crivvens! Jings! And Help Ma Boab! It seems that as soon as one far right splank-handle comes out of the majesties priz, another few go in. Not only is ‘Sir-Tommy-For-Prezident’ out on bail and staying at his Grandma’s bungalow in Clacton, but professional headache and racist nutjob par-effluence, Jayda Fransen is out! Or so we’re told. We previously reported on the Britain First court case when Basin-Head Goldinger blamed Jaydawg for everything and got himself a lesser sentence, apparently in revenge for Jaydawg’s fling with Mexican Wrestler tribute act, El Teabag.
Jayda is also bitter cos in the 2018 ‘Far Right Hot-Totty’ competition, she only came in 3rd – which was odd cos there was only 2 entrants, her and Hel Gower.
Goldinger: neither a drinker nor a twat.
Anyhooots… even Poundland sock thief and toothless gimmer Andrew ‘Dragged Thru The’ Edge has abandoned BF HQ having sold off the typewriters, VHS machines and mini-disc players. Vedge had also, incredibly, managed to gain love access to Jayda’s generous chesty busticules but that’s the miracle of Rohypnol I guess. Apparently he’s okay now.
Jayda: she’s fucken nuts!
Seeing as Goldinger and Jaydawg are the only vaguely competent members of BF, and both rely on it for income, remonstrations and flaming bile-spew will hopefully cause the final implosion of their nasty fascist sect. However, 1 BF member has embarked on a fund-raising journey, peddling around the world on a pair of Jayda’s implants.
In other news, Daniel Lewis, a tool-twanging cro-magnon fuck-bubble from Wigan, has been sent down for robbing a sweet shop where he terrified a woman with his manly muscles and an axe. Him and his accomplice, Phil Collins, seized 2 cases of Twix, some Toffo’s and a box of Soleros before disappearing into broad daylight. Police tracked down Lewis/Collins by following the trail of melted ice cream to their flat. So, it’s goodbye to those fuckers, Wigan weeps not.
Lewis & Collins
We reported recently on UKIP jail crims and there’s another potential candidate for the list. Yes indeedy, Arthur ‘Musty’ Thackeray has an appalling record of harassing women by phone but has somehow avoided the priz and been given yet another chance in court. Reports said that ‘he is unsuitable for a sex offenders programme’ – read that how you will – and it seems his success with the ladies is as impressive as his success with politics. Get to the majesties priz you man-ho!
Tommy Robinson: a fucken whinging fucken fucker!
As many anti-fascists know, ‘Sir-Tommy-For-Prezident’ is motivated by 2 things: money and cash. He also has a mammoth ego to feed. He has been given a date to appear in court for his contempt retrial on 4th September, 2018, which will no doubt dominate the news. He is currently siding with some well-funded and organised people who are using his tedious notoriety to subtly push forward their agenda. However, ‘Sir-Tommy-For-Prezident’ needs to realise that, despite earning money by ending up in the priz and getting publicity, his criminal record is going to become even more of a liability and that he may just end up being ‘Sir-Tommy-For-More-Priz.’
Be Seeing You!