Mr Tommy re-enacts the hair gel scene from ‘There’s Something About Mary’
Crivvens! Jings! And Help Ma Boab! Would you believe it? Mr ‘Sir’ Tommy Robbing-Swine is being courted by UKIP in their latest stab attempt at rejuvenation. Ever since Brexit, when they voted themselves out of a job, UKIP have been wallowing in desperation, pointlessness and stupidity and are no doubt hoping for a 2nd Brexit vote so they can campaign against it and feel relevant again.
Over the last 2 years, UKIP have been shit at having leaders: first there was Farage, whose snaky umbilicus is still connected to the slime where he was spawned; then there was the next one, followed by some other bloke, possibly a woman, and then another bloke after that, none of them making any kind of impact.
‘Sir’ Tommy MP courting the voters!
As we write, UKIP are desperately redacting their policy to ban former members of BNP, EDL or other orangu-fash outfits and hoping that everyone has forgotten about it. Which we obviously haven’t and we will continue to remind them. However, UKIP are gambling that the support they will gain from signing up ‘Sir’ Tommy Hopkinson, MP, far outweighs the damage that reversing their original commitment will do. But this also means that UKIP’s door could be open to every other racist head-boiler, bacon-faced nut-job or former Tories.
UKIP would love to use ‘Sir’ Tommy, MP, to emulate the successes of the far right in Sweden, Germany, Poland, or Hungary but there be a wee small problemette: ‘Sir’ Tommy, MP, has a filthy criminal record, a history of violence and has been in the majesties priz 7 times. Dunno about you, but I wouldn’t vote for someone who’d been in prison once, never mind someone who sees the majesties priz as a 2nd home. Here’s a record of his crimely crims:
2005: Jailed for 12 months for assault
2010: Arrested for public order offence
2011: Convicted for football hooliganism
2011: Jailed for breaching bail conditions
2011: Convicted for assault
2011: Jailed for rooftop protest in Switzerland
2013 Jailed for using false passport
2014: Jailed for mortgage fraud
2014: Convicted for public order offences
2015: Recalled to prison
2017: Convicted for contempt of court
Not only does he have an appalling criminal history, he is a spiv, an opportunist and a ultra-qwuunt of massive proportions. He is only interested in 2 things. Money. And cash. He moves from 1 organisation to the next, wringing them out for every pence he can before heading off elsewhere. The history:
BNP – United People Of Luton – EDL – British Freedom Party – European Defence League – Quilliam Foundation – UK Pegida – ‘UK Against Hate’ – Rebel Media – hovering near the Football Lads Alliance – Generation Irritation -and next UKIP?
UKIP clearly see him as a potential leader, a viable media spokesperson or an electoral candidate. And why wouldn’t you vote for a violent thug who’s been in prison half a dozen times? Although anyone with half a dram of the common stuff knows that the Houses of Parliament is full of thieves, liars and conmen already so ‘Sir’ Tommy MP should feel at home if he ever gets there!
Hel Growler in happier times!
And in other hilarious news, ‘Sir’ Tommy’s PA, mothy old slop bucket Helen ‘Lel’ Growler, has weepily resigned from ‘Team Tommy’ cos whilst he has been gadding about the globe like a twat, poor Cinderella Growler was not invited to the ball or any other exotic jollies full of nasty racists. She claims that ‘Sir’ Tommy, MP, is a user and exploits people for what he can. Well, Hel, we told you that about 5 years ago you dozy bag of cider farts and halitosis. Not only that, lovey, he is a convicted woman beater, violent thug and doesn’t say his prayers at bedtime. It’s like sticking your penis in a hungry lion’s mouth then wondering why he’s circumcised you. What did you expect ‘Lel?’ LOL!
How quickly they succumb, how rapidly they are discarded.
Be Seeing You, Fuckers!