The English Defence League held a poorly attended demo at the weekend in Walsall, were outnumbered by anti-fascists and subject to the virulent attentions of West Midland Plod. For those who can’t be bothered here is a summary from an EDL members’ point of view: ‘got up, got pissed, got to Walsall, got mouthy, got battered, got to grow up.’ The deluded fuck-bugles really thought that they would fare better than previous visits to the Midlands and were yet again proved wrong!
Crivvens! Jings! And Help Ma Boab! Whit a weekend that was! In a brilliant display of far right unity – Unite The Right? Yeah, Right! – 3 demos happened on the same day with equally dire results: the EDL were yet again humiliated in Walsall; the Combined Ex-Forces failed to get a dozen to their demo in Oldham; and the Scottish Defence League tried to demo but ended up with 4 arrests – which was nearly 50% of their turnout. What was it all about then?
Up Against The Walsall!
Walsall was a test for the EDL (regimental motto ‘In Alco, Incontinent’) following their utter humiliation in Walthamstow and they needed to show up in numbers. Which they didn’t for several reasons the main one being that after Mr Tommy and Karaoke Kev Karol bravely ran away at Walthamstow many EDL have finally realised that they’ve been taken for a ride by opportunists and phoneys.
What happened was that the 150 or so EDL arrived in Walsall on their coaches and were already drunk and mardy. Plod swiftly got them under heavy manners and as the EDL got more and more irate they started flinging stuff at plod, most notably what looked like a table leg. Plod liked this not and responded in kind going a bit Hertz Car Rental with the batons and such! Cue dramatic head wounds and severely chafed egos for the EDL. Various eejits had been boasting on the net that they were not going to stand for any plod nonsense along with some other ridiculous threats. As everyone knows plod has never heard of Facebook so were fully prepared. See our friends at EDL News for more salacious details!
All Not Well With EDL!
Unkle Kev Karol is standing for the Bedfordshire Police Commissioner gig but this looks increasingly desperate after the EDL have just done battle with plod – and lost. Not great PR Kev! The EDL is now aligned to the fluffy fascist British Freedom, to the great annoyance of many EDL members who subsequently left, and amazingly they managed to raise the 5 grand needed to stand for PCC – mainly under false pretences it would seem. Karaoke Kev has not raised enough for the actual campaign though which so far appears to be a photoshopped poster online! Unkle Kev has also done a manifesto which would adversely affect his diminishing cohort of ‘chav scrotes’ and headache sufferers. See our friends at Expose!
Kev has clearly had help as the manifesto is written with proper pen in joined up writing. As anyone who has had the misfortune to hear him speak Kev is on the far side of literate. His campaign strategy has been piss poor so far and he has done little to generate support outside of his small band of followers, most of whom do not live in Bedfordshire anyway and very few of the electorate are even aware of his existence.
Funeral In Walthamstow
The main worry for the EDL is getting numbers at Walthamstow to revenge their previous humiliation so in a rather stupid publicity stunt Mr Tommy said that they would be showing that daft anti-Islam film at the demo. As well as being a crass and misjudged move what Mr Tommy hasn’t said is how and where he is actually going to screen it. For one there is only a short trailer for the film available and secondly few local places would accommodate it given the potential reaction from locals. We suggest Mr Tommy screens it on a pair of EDL beauty Kevin Smith’s massive underpants!
Tensions between Mr Tommy and Unkle Kev are at an all time high after they had a blazing row at the Walthamstow debacle. To make matters worse Mrs Tommy threw him out of the house and he is now living with Unkle Kev in his caravan behind the local Sainsbury’s!
Kommissioner Kev’s Karavan is fitted with a karaoke machine and can go over 100mph! It also has a year’s supply of Pot Noodles and Vienettas in case the Muslamics take over!
Just Say No!
The EDL are in serious trouble: they have been battered by plod at Walthamstow and Walsall, their numbers are down, they have no strategy, no membership retention, no money and no endgame. The link with the British Fluffies has got them nowhere. The EDL ‘leadership’ say they have no control over the unruly elements who go on demos – at Walsall their stewards were yet again battered by their own team! – which is both shirking responsibility and poor leadership and does little to avert swathes of negative publicity. They create a climate of aggression, drunkenness and racial abuse on their demos and then wonder why it kicks off. Of course, they blame the anti-fascists but this does not wash as at many demos when there has been no opposition it has still descended into violence.
The EDL’s call for dry demos fell on soused ears as the vast majority are already pissed by the time they get there. One good piece of news for Mr Tommy is that the planned confab with the Muslim Debate Initiative has been cancelled so his spurious arguments will not now be found wanting by a more experienced and informed speaker. Phew!
The EDL 3rd in command Tony Curtis stormed out in a huff recently after Mr Tommy wouldn’t let him go to America so he joined the miniscule New Patriot Alliance but then left them after only 1 day as he said they were racist! Imagine that? Bill ‘Chimps’ Baker is part of the NPA and is fast becoming the Eddy ‘Splitter’ Morrison of his generation having been kicked out of every far right organisation going. ‘Chimps’ has also been raided by plod and had his mobile and PC seized after downing 2 bottle of White Lightening and getting mouthy on the net. He has no job, no friends, and no birds!
The far right is seriously floundering and this weekend showed they simply do not have the numbers any more. The BNP are going down fast; the NF are too drunk; and the EDL splinter groups CxF, NEI, NWI, SDL, Casual United and EVF cannot stand each other and are constantly attacking each other. Anti-fascists outnumber them at every demo and there is more unity and diversity here than the far right could ever hope for.
Fuck-buglery and idiocy are never in short supply on the far right but this weeks Best Disaster Award goes to the Combined Ex-Forces (regimental motto ‘they don’t like it up em!’) and really takes the Bourbon. They staged a fake kidnap of a ‘Muslamic’ tied up in the boot of the regimental Robin Reliant and then posted it on the net. They subsequently got raided by plod and arrested. Again. The previous week they had their ‘headquarters’ (in their Nan’s garage) raided and their PCs and mobiles seized for making daft threats on the net. They never learn do they? CxF see themselves as renegades but are in fact rectal tuboids of the highest degree who do not understand the law. CxF are neither combined, their ‘leadership’ having fallen out several times over who holds what made-up title, nor are they ex-forces as having worked for Parcel Force doesn’t count.
Up here in Scotland, the hilariously inept Scottish Defence League (regimental motto ‘See You Jimmy!’) also held a demo in Edinburgh which achieved nothing whatsoever. Even one of their members declared that ‘that was a shambles of a turnout’ and bemoaned their poor communication and organisation. These toothless incontinents are pretty much BNP, NF and ‘loyalists’ (i.e., loyal to bottles of Buckfast). There was a piss poor turnout, they were vastly outnumbered as expected and several ended up in jail. Well done. So all in all a great weekend for anti-fascists everywhere and a very poor 2nd for the far right. See you all in Walthamstow for the funeral!
PS: in an earlier version of this we said Curtis had joined the English Volunteer Force by mistake. Here is the East Mids Anti-Fascists report on the EVF:
and here’s a little picture to cheer you all up!