Vote For Honest Tom!

Mr Tommy re-enacts the hair gel scene from ‘There’s Something About Mary’

Crivvens! Jings! And Help Ma Boab! Would you believe it? Mr ‘Sir’ Tommy Robbing-Swine is being courted by UKIP in their latest stab attempt at rejuvenation. Ever since Brexit, when they voted themselves out of a job, UKIP have been wallowing in desperation, pointlessness and stupidity and are no doubt hoping for a 2nd Brexit vote so they can campaign against it and feel relevant again.

Over the last 2 years, UKIP have been shit at having leaders: first there was Farage, whose snaky umbilicus is still connected to the slime where he was spawned; then there was the next one, followed by some other bloke, possibly a woman, and then another bloke after that, none of them making any kind of impact.

‘Sir’ Tommy MP courting the voters!

As we write, UKIP are desperately redacting their policy to ban former members of BNP, EDL or other orangu-fash outfits and hoping that everyone has forgotten about it. Which we obviously haven’t and we will continue to remind them. However, UKIP are gambling that the support they will gain from signing up ‘Sir’ Tommy Hopkinson, MP, far outweighs the damage that reversing their original commitment will do. But this also means that UKIP’s door could be open to every other racist head-boiler, bacon-faced nut-job or former Tories.

UKIP would love to use ‘Sir’ Tommy, MP, to emulate the successes of the far right in Sweden, Germany, Poland, or Hungary but there be a wee small problemette: ‘Sir’ Tommy, MP, has a filthy criminal record, a history of violence and has been in the majesties priz 7 times. Dunno about you, but I wouldn’t vote for someone who’d been in prison once, never mind someone who sees the majesties priz as a 2nd home. Here’s a record of his crimely crims:

2005: Jailed for 12 months for assault
2010: Arrested for public order offence
2011: Convicted for football hooliganism
2011: Jailed for breaching bail conditions
2011: Convicted for assault
2011: Jailed for rooftop protest in Switzerland
2013 Jailed for using false passport
2014: Jailed for mortgage fraud
2014: Convicted for public order offences
2015: Recalled to prison
2017: Convicted for contempt of court
2018: ..?

Not only does he have an appalling criminal history, he is a spiv, an opportunist and a ultra-qwuunt of massive proportions. He is only interested in 2 things. Money. And cash. He moves from 1 organisation to the next, wringing them out for every pence he can before heading off elsewhere. The history:

BNP – United People Of Luton – EDL – British Freedom Party – European Defence League – Quilliam Foundation – UK Pegida – ‘UK Against Hate’ – Rebel Media – hovering near the Football Lads Alliance – Generation Irritation -and next UKIP?

UKIP clearly see him as a potential leader, a viable media spokesperson or an electoral candidate. And why wouldn’t you vote for a violent thug who’s been in prison half a dozen times? Although anyone with half a dram of the common stuff knows that the Houses of Parliament is full of thieves, liars and conmen already so ‘Sir’ Tommy MP should feel at home if he ever gets there!

Grrrrr… Growler! 

Hel Growler in happier times! 

And in other hilarious news, ‘Sir’ Tommy’s PA, mothy old slop bucket Helen ‘Lel’ Growler, has weepily resigned from ‘Team Tommy’ cos whilst he has been gadding about the globe like a twat, poor Cinderella Growler was not invited to the ball or any other exotic jollies full of nasty racists. She claims that ‘Sir’ Tommy, MP, is a user and exploits people for what he can. Well, Hel, we told you that about 5 years ago you dozy bag of cider farts and halitosis. Not only that, lovey, he is a convicted woman beater, violent thug and doesn’t say his prayers at bedtime. It’s like sticking your penis in a hungry lion’s mouth then wondering why he’s circumcised you. What did you expect ‘Lel?’ LOL!

How quickly they succumb, how rapidly they are discarded.

Be Seeing You, Fuckers!

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From Bad … To Worcester!

Crivvens! Jings! And Help Ma Boab! What the totally fuckington fuck were the EDL trying to do in Worster-chester-shirester at the weekend? Well, ain’t that a rhetorical question cos they lacked gusto, sobriety and support and were yet again told to fuck the fucker-rooney off by 100s of anti-fascists! Pre-demo, plod tried to stop local activists from holding a counter-demo in their own town centre but despite such bastitudes, 500 anti-fascists turned out anyway as cops surrounded the few dozen half-arsed racist head boilers for their own protection. For some reason the EDL woodentops started chanting ‘Sir’ Tommy Hopkinson’s name even though he fucked them off 5 years ago after milking their collective epididymis for every possible pence and shilling. It was a bit like a Labour Party conference chanting ‘Neil Kinnock For President!’ That is, massively wrong in a massively fuck-bugling way.

Seasoned anti-fascists on the scene shared a collective frown over what these irrelevant twat-baskets were trying to prove because, apart from hooligan-lite nostalgists who missed it all 1st time round, and the remnants of the EDL Violent Demo Re-enactment Society, everyone else knows the EDL are a flabby bacon faced irrelevancy.

Desperate EDL leader Ian ‘Smelly’ Crossland, a crusty short-arsed trouser-fouler, kicked off the speeches but so lacking in dental hygiene is he that the flux capacitor in the microphone melted and that was that. Which was a good job cos 2 of the scheduled speakers had been arrested the day before and luckily missed the public embarrassment that the EDL demos are these days.

As if to emphasise the fact that the EDL are now completely out of reality tokens they proposed a march in Liverpool which caused ‘soft’ ‘student’ ‘middle-class’ anti-fascists across the UK to choke on their halal vegan cucumber bagel samosas.

When we told this to ‘Comrade Cilla,’ the anarchist leader of Merseyside Antifa who we’ve just invented, she said ‘Oh good, we could do with a lorra lorra laffs!’ And we look forward to it as well. Will Smelly make his diminished band of bin-bag-shitters cower in the lost luggage office in Lime Street? Will plod even allow it? Or Liverpool Council? Hopefully, once Smelly sobers up and realises what a shit-up Saturday’s demo was, he’ll give his shriveled bawbag a rinse and stick it in the nearest socket to save himself the humiliation.

Be Seeing You!

Though probably not you!

And definitely not you lot!

 

Posted in Anti-Fascism, david coppin, Eddie Stampton, EDL, Jayda Fransen, Paul Golding, Shane Calvert, Shane Calvert is going to prison ha ha ha! | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Head Boilers Ready To Blow!

Crivvens! Jings! And Help Ma Boab! Gas masks on and get under your bed cos the UK far right are imploding with bilious rage that will make their enpurpled mugs ever more so. The thing in London yesterday is now viewed officially as a terrorist attack and it is no surprise who the far right will blame. Yeah: Brummies! Cos the only thing anyone knows is that he’s from Birmingham. And he is ‘unknown’ to plod. And he probably looks like this: 

But that’s just facts and they don’t matter cos for the far right, terror attacks only come in 1 colour and with 1 religion so the red faced head boilers will be squealing victorious if they find out the geezer is a Muslamic extremist (rather than a pissed-up Uber driver who hates cyclists). They will no doubt be grimacing at the news on unlicensed portable TVs, flaccid peens gripped ready for a hysterical joy twank whilst screaming ‘I TOLD YOOO! IT’S THEM MUSLAMICS AGAIN!’ 

UK Far Right: Lager in 1 hand, nob in the other

The UK far right are very selective when protesting against terrorists just as they are with sex offenders – cos if they happen to be white then they switch to ‘off comms’ and pretend they never knew them despite the incriminating photographs. Like this one of David ‘racist race mixer’ Coppin aka ‘Guppy Looking Fish Fucker,’ a terrified half man of severely limited intelligence (although he has finally mastered the use of a spoon) seen here with chumley chum, racist rapist Leigh MacMillan:

Or this one of National Action’ Ryan Fleming now on his 2nd trip to the priz for sex offences … 

or this Britain First supporter Christopher Gamlin jailed for inciting a child into sexual activity. 

And there’s a lot more than them! Anyhooots, when the Football Lads Alliance (FLA) first appeared, their manifesto said that they were ‘against terrorism’ – which is hardly a unique stance as I suspect everyone is against their friends and family being blown up by extremist wankers. It’s like saying ‘I’m against drowning’ – well, who wouldn’t be. The main thing that the FLA couldn’t explain was what they were going to do to stop it although our old friend Fatty Bawbag will stop it by screaming at cameras … 

and this flatulent pant-shitter will be a Nazi:

Here are a few terrorists that the FLA, EDL and other flappy necked head boilers have ‘forgotten’ to ‘expose’: Darren ‘Sharon’ Osborne, Thomas Mair, Zack Davies, Christopher Lythgoe, Matthew Hankinson and Jack Renshaw.

Renshaw: Smiling No More! 

Listen! All terrorists and all sex offenders are shitbags. Bombs don’t care who they maim or kill. Sex offenders don’t care whose life they fuck up. Selective outrage by the far right is merely the shit-thick opinions of people without perspective. Get one. 

Be Seeing You! 

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Sir-Tommy-For-More-Priz!

Crivvens! Jings! And Help Ma Boab! It seems that as soon as one far right splank-handle comes out of the majesties priz, another few go in. Not only is ‘Sir-Tommy-For-Prezident’ out on bail and staying at his Grandma’s bungalow in Clacton, but professional headache and racist nutjob par-effluence, Jayda Fransen is out! Or so we’re told. We previously reported on the Britain First court case when Basin-Head Goldinger blamed Jaydawg for everything and got himself a lesser sentence, apparently in revenge for Jaydawg’s fling with Mexican Wrestler tribute act, El Teabag.

Teabagged! 

Jayda is also bitter cos in the 2018 ‘Far Right Hot-Totty’ competition, she only came in 3rd – which was odd cos there was only 2 entrants, her and Hel Gower.

Goldinger: neither a drinker nor a twat.

Anyhooots… even Poundland sock thief and toothless gimmer Andrew ‘Dragged Thru The’ Edge has abandoned BF HQ having sold off the typewriters, VHS machines and mini-disc players. Vedge had also, incredibly, managed to gain love access to Jayda’s generous chesty busticules but that’s the miracle of Rohypnol I guess. Apparently he’s okay now.

Jayda: she’s fucken nuts!

Seeing as Goldinger and Jaydawg are the only vaguely competent members of BF, and both rely on it for income, remonstrations and flaming bile-spew will hopefully cause the final implosion of their nasty fascist sect. However, 1 BF member has embarked on a fund-raising journey, peddling around the world on a pair of Jayda’s implants.

In other news, Daniel Lewis, a tool-twanging cro-magnon fuck-bubble from Wigan, has been sent down for robbing a sweet shop where he terrified a woman with his manly muscles and an axe. Him and his accomplice, Phil Collins, seized 2 cases of Twix, some Toffo’s and a box of Soleros before disappearing into broad daylight. Police tracked down Lewis/Collins by following the trail of melted ice cream to their flat. So, it’s goodbye to those fuckers, Wigan weeps not.

Lewis & Collins

We reported recently on UKIP jail crims and there’s another potential candidate for the list. Yes indeedy, Arthur ‘Musty’ Thackeray has an appalling record of harassing women by phone but has somehow avoided the priz and been given yet another chance in court. Reports said that ‘he is unsuitable for a sex offenders programme’ – read that how you will – and it seems his success with the ladies is as impressive as his success with politics. Get to the majesties priz you man-ho!

Tommy Robinson: a fucken whinging fucken fucker! 

As many anti-fascists know, ‘Sir-Tommy-For-Prezident’ is motivated by 2 things: money and cash. He also has a mammoth ego to feed. He has been given a date to appear in court for his contempt retrial on 4th September, 2018, which will no doubt dominate the news. He is currently siding with some well-funded and organised people who are using his tedious notoriety to subtly push forward their agenda. However, ‘Sir-Tommy-For-Prezident’ needs to realise that, despite earning money by ending up in the priz and getting publicity, his criminal record is going to become even more of a liability and that he may just end up being ‘Sir-Tommy-For-More-Priz.’

Be Seeing You!

 

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Tommy Robinson Is A Lying Leaky Bag Of Butt Piss!

Tommy Slapped Up (Again)!

Crivvens! Jings! And Help Ma Boab! Anti-fascists who have spent more than 10 minutes in the game will realise that reality, truth and facts are alien to the far right and that no one is more egregious than ‘Tommy Robinson’ or ‘Stephen Yaxley Lennon.’ His relationship to telling the truth is like his relationship to having a job: there isn’t one. Even his name is a lie. Ever since he got out of the majesties priz (for the 7th time) he has blethered and blabbed about his terrible experiences inside whilst milking the epididymis of gullible Tombliboos for cash!

The only way we know he isn’t lying! 

When the 1st photos of him being released were published, his apologists hysterically claimed he was like a ‘Biafran’ or an Auschwitz survivor (how insulting?) when describing a slim, relatively healthy 35 year old. He did not lose 40lbs cos of starvation, he lost some weight cos he wasn’t stuffing himself with takeaway curry and lager every night. No doubt he will back to his usual XXL when his holiday at Butlins is over and he has had time to drink himself senseless and gorge on junk food. He was also carrying plenty before he went in and needed to lose a few anyway …

Tommy’s Tits & Tiny Tool

‘Sir’ Tommy-For-PM is a massive unwashed hairy bawbag full of lies. He claimed his conditions in the majesties priz were like at Guatanamo Bay where prisoners have been subject to torture, sensual deprivation and barren conditions whilst living in open-air cages in high temperatures. And he claimed he was in solitary confinement which he wasn’t. He had been initially separated for risk assessment over the first 48 hours of his sentence before joining general population where he had the same access to visitors, showers and TV as other prisoners. And neither is he suffering from PTSD and to claim so is an insult to those who genuinely have suffered from it, like the residents of Grenfell Tower, fire-fighters and paramedics. ‘Sir’ Tommy-For-PM claimed his cell was situated opposite a mosque and Muslims were firing shit through his cell door but there is no mosque in the priz and the only shit that’s flying about comes from his mouth.

Why do people trust someone so brazen?: he is a career criminal with a very long criminal record, little of it to do with politics; he has been in prison 7 times and may well be going back following the Leeds appeal; and he flits from one organisation to another depending on who’s holding the money bags. ‘Sir’ Tommy-For-PM will say anything to get attention, pity and, most importantly, money. Would you trust ANY other person with a history like his?

Tommy Robinson’s Band: Banned! 

And in other news, rubbish band The Redenders have been hoofed off the bill at a festival in Troon cos of their Tommy-love. They’ve also got 1990s Oasis haircuts, Poundland shades and sound as shit as they look.

Be Seeing You!

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Oi! Tommy! Fuck Off On Holiday & Don’t Come Back!

Crivvens! Jings! And Help Ma Boab! Thank fuck that saggy tits little shit-spackle has fucked off to his holidays in Skegness Butlins for 2 weeks, now maybe the collective headache caused by his voluminous whining can subside, if only temporarily. And just imagine waking up to see that the next chalet is occupied by the Family Robinson. It’s enough to put you off your porridge (or porage).

Before…

…Cunt.

Yap indeedy, since his release on bail ‘Sir’ Tommy-For-PM has been whining about his misfortunes in the majesties priz and released copies of the (many) complaints he made whilst in there. And boy, are they evidence of rampant ego-mania, arrogant stupidity and all round qwuuntishness, so let’s have a look at the utterly fuckerly shite he’s been coming out with.

‘Sir’ Tommy-For-PM claimed he had lost weight as he couldn’t trust the prison food so had to go to the canteen to buy cans of tuna, mayonnaise, wholewheat bread, unsalted butter, microwavable rice and lasagnas, kiwi fruit salad, chocolate, white wine spritzers, truffle oil, quails eggs and tiramisu. On his release from the priz, the Tombliboos supporters claimed that he looked ‘starved’ when, in fact, he’d simply shed a few pounds cos he wasn’t stuffing his face with lager and halal Nando’s every night (which is all paid for by the suckers, fuckers and bucket feeders who think this spiv, conman and career criminal is somehow trustworthy). Here’s the whinge list:

  • He claimed that the prison was ‘punishing me with no television’ (which meant he couldn’t watch all the news stories about himself) which it wasn’t;
  • He claimed to be ‘locked up 23 hours for my protection’ whilst also claiming that his door was deliberately left open by screws. So which 1 is it?
  • He claimed that he was held in isolation but also that other prisoners were abusing him through his door. Surely prisoners are not allowed to stroll through secure wings abusing those held under secure conditions?
  • He claimed that 1 of his prison cells was opposite a prison mosque and he was subject to flying poop parcels, which he wasn’t and there isn’t a mosque in the priz either;
  • He claimed that ‘It’s not my fault I can’t work’ when it is. He was scared that some Muslim prisoners might want to chat with him about a few things if he was out and about the priz. And, as usual, he blames people he has deliberately offended for being offended as it’s all their fault.
  • He demanded extra visits because he is very important – which he didn’t get – and also demanded ‘my own gym, extra spuds at tea-time, and tubs of Ben & Jerry’s delivered to my cell. I also need to nip out to Nando’s, pick up some jaz mags and get to an ATM to pay ‘Cheeky Peaches’ for services rendered.’

The prison stated that ‘Sir’ Thompson Fuckington-Fuckface “had access to visits, television and showers – and it is totally false to say he was held in ‘solitary confinement’.” Which is surely a slur on the shining character of a career criminal, woman beater, thug, football hooligan, convicted fraudster, and shite-eyed fuck-bucket.

Be Seeing You!

But not you for a while, hopefully. Twat. 

 

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Unemployed Racist For Hire!

Crivvens! Jings! And Help Ma Boab! It seems that mainstream, national and social media are collectively distracted by the release from prison of an unemployed, father of 3, career criminal and violent racist. This means that they don’t have to talk about the fractious government, the chaos of Brexit, and the latest head-crazed Trumpetings: such leaking buckets of cow-cak are the tedious daily meat for all media. Thanks for visiting.

Weird Man-Tits

Anyway, we need to clarify a few things. Yesterdays ruling at the Courts did 2 things. First, ‘Sir’ Tommy Caxley-Trousers appealed his conviction at Canterbury for contempt of court, i.e., filming outside a live trial. The court said no, it stands. Poor Tom. Then, they explained that the judge at his 2nd trial for contempt in Leeds acted hastily so they held up ‘Sir’ Tommy-For-PM’s appeal claim. This means he must go back to Leeds for a retrial where things like mitigation can be put forward by the appellant. He has not been acquitted for either the Canterbury or Leeds cases.

Tombliboos

Weepy tales of Poor Tom’s time in the Majesties priz have been both amusing and pathetic. First, he claims to have been threatened by other prisoners. Well, ‘Sir’ Tommy, if you are an egomaniac, convicted thug and football hooligan with a history of vicious racist provocation, don’t be surprised when others might want to explain a few things to you. YOU are not the victim here. They are reacting to YOUR actions. You fecken pan-full-of-bed-piss!

Second, ‘Sir’ Tommy claims that screws left his door open leaving him vulnerable, even though it is standard practice to leave cell doors open throughout the day for association and you can have yourself locked in if you want to. Finally, ‘Sir’ Tommy claimed he could only use the phone at lunch-times so couldn’t talk to his kids as they were at school – what, despite the fact they have been on holiday for 2 weeks now? Sir Thompson Tracksuit-Trousers, YOU put yourself in prison through deliberate actions and YOU love attention so this is what happens, you utterly-bucketty-full-of-fuckington fuck!

Meanwhile, the Middle Eastern Forum have been putting up the cash for his legal defence by law firm Hinge & Bracket & Bovis, but why Tommy? Well, the UK far right is a mess. UKIP are now resorting to a more overtly racist agenda, struggling to find a place for themselves post-Brexit, but they continue to fall out and change leaders every other month, each one even worse than the last. Britain First were badly damaged when Muttonhead Golding and Jayda Fransen were chucked in the majesties priz and other unsavoury allegations. The National Action Men were banned, rounded-up and stuck on trial which has ruined them whilst the BNP and NF are dead. As are the EDL who have quietly dissolved after the disastrous leadership of Alan ‘Fuckface’ Spence and Ian ‘Smelly’ Crossland who are now clinging to the winnets of the divided Democratic/Football Lads Alliance movement – who have also been courting ‘Sir’ Tommy-For-PM.’

Robinson is the only articulate, charismatic and popular spokesman on the far right not tied to any specific political organisation and as we’ve seen, he has a lot of vocal support and much media value. So whoever secures his favour, i.e., pays him, he will go along with as it seems that his only real concern is money. Whatever the agenda of the Middle East Forum or other shady types behind his funding is, we will leave to you to decide. It’s given us a fecken heed-ache!

Be Seeing You!

 

 

 

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