Crivvens! Jings! And Help Ma Boab! Readers of the Malatesta blog are probably aware that when we un-lid the laptop on a blog-worthy morning we are either hungover, heavily pharma-delica’d or just straight up piss-ass drunk. However, the recent Euro-tour by The Donald, aka Trump l’oeil, battered us into sobriety to find that reality is a lot weirder than our usual screaming hallucinations and hefty self-medication.
Seeing Trump and Putin heading solo backstage for a cup of tea and a bun forced us to plagiarise one of the Blesse’d Hunter Thompson’s phrases – ‘When the going gets weird, the weird turn President.’ Then ex-Trump adviser Stephen Bannon came out in support of Tommy Robinson whilst The Economist, usually calm and measured, told us that ‘UKIP are back.’ Which was a surprise for us cos 1 ex-UKIP councilor has just been done for murdering his wife and another done for robbing £46,000 from a 90 year old. Maybe we need to rephrase this claim as ‘UKIP are back. In prison.’ Just like serial convict ‘Sir’ Tommy Robinson who is in the majesties priz for the 7th time. According to The Economist, UKIP are trying to exploit Robinson’s rampant press coverage – copying ‘Sir’ Tommy’s parasitical tendency to exploit folk for as much cash as possible.
So, UKIP are back but with yet another new leader Gerard Batten who is a proper fancy dan with a penchant for purple suits (which he should accessorise with a matching purple helmet). He wants to expand UKIP’s spent anti-EU agenda with some good old fashioned racism and a plenty big slice of anti-Islamic sentiment as he tries to appeal to the 42% of UK questionnaire answerers who see Islam as incompatible with ‘our ways.’ (Whatever ‘our ways’ are).
Mr Batten is the 4th leader since September 2016 so it’s doubtful he’s unpacked his Vanity Case at head office just yet. As usual, Nigel Farage is still lurking round UKIP unable to let go of all that lovely ego-boosting wankery, especially now that his chat-show on the wireless gets piss poor ratings.
‘Salute if you need a poo!’
Batten has denied that he is guiding UKIP into a harder far right position but we have previously documented the links between the far right Football Lads Alliance, former EDL supporters and UKIP. And UKIP, FLA and the very dead EDL have troubles in common, mainly finding a charismatic and articulate leader who can deal with the media. Not only that, but the leader needs to unify all the bitching factions the far right collapse into given their fractious alliances of racists, xenophobes and nut-job-Hitler fans. Will it happen? We doubt it just yet.
Be Seeing You!
Well, not you.