Crivvens! Jings! And Help Ma Boab! Is Trump a Russian asset? Yes. He is! Maybe. Well, I dunno, do I? Fux sake. Anyhoooots … When Donny met Vladdy in front of the world’s media they nicked off into a side room for 2 hours with only a translator in tow, then Trump confiscated his notes and told him to keep shtum. No one knows what was discussed and Trump has refused to discuss it with his aides. However, with 17 investigations closing in on the Shredded Wheat Bouffant it is highly likely that the translator, poor sap, is gonna get subpoena’d and told to spill it.
When 007 met Boris Johnson!
But what have the Russian secret services got on him? Well, Trump offered Putin a suite in his proposed Moscow Trump Tower to help developments along, which is bribery; Trump associates Paul Manafort and Michael Flynn have been convicted over Russian interference in the 2016 election; Trump made all that fuss over Hilary Clinton’s carelessness with classified emails which inspired his rabid followers to repeatedly chant ‘lock her up’ and which now is heavily ironic in light of Trump’s recklessness; and at 1 rally Trumpoon said: “Russia, if you’re listening, I hope you’re able to find the 30,000 emails that are missing … you will probably be rewarded mightily by our press”; then there’s the story about painted ladies doing wee-wee’s in hotel beds (although there is nothing wrong with doing wee-wees in hotel beds. Some of us can’t help it).
‘I got some mucky films in the back room’
‘You’re in them.’
So has Vlad the Bad done The Great Donzo proper or wot? When the Prez was asked on Fox News about dodgy Russian shenanigans splashed across global media, Tango Ballbag said ‘I don’t care’ and ‘I couldn’t care less’ which sounds more like teenage parental defiance than anything presidenty. He’s the fucken man in the big chair so maybe he should start caring or at least consider a less sulky response. Dicklewhacker.
‘So, you put the thumb up 1st?’
‘No, use the finger, then you grab them’
More to come, no doubt …